Why some Younger Men Prefer to be with Older Women

Why some Younger Men Prefer to be with Older Women

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Why Some Younger Men Prefer to Be With Older Women

They find the women to be more confident and self-assured.

Posted August 11, 2019 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

- Couples in age gap relationships are subject to prejudice and negative stereotypes, specifically when the man will be older than the person. - In one study of women dating older men, the stereotype of choosing their partner due to "daddy issues" was unsupported. - Various age-gap newlyweds perform definitely not show ulterior monetary or experienced purposes.

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More younger men date and marry older women than we realize. But numerous different married couples possess an perhaps even more considerable era space. We remember famous Hollywood pairings like Demi Moore and her 16-years-younger husband Aston Kutcher.

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French President Emmanuel Macron is married to a woman 24 years hwill be senior, who seemed to be a tutor at his higher school. They met when he was 15. Although they have been certainly not romantically included until they have been both people, the open public examination Emmanuel and Brigitte possess encountered over the a long time is usually a signal of the periods. And they will be not really by itself.

Yet despite potential stereotyping and stigma, age-gap relationships between younger men and older women continue to survive, and thrive. Research explains why.

Why Younger Men Prefer Older Women

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Today.com dedicated a piece to the expressed reasons younger men love older women.[i] The men who were interviewed shared numerous reasons older women made great partners, including the noted reality that they happen to be self-assured, self-confident, and quick conversationalists who happen to be not concentrated on beginning a family just.

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Some conveyed that the attention of an older woman boosted their own level of confidence and self-esteem. Others recognized that older women have more life experience, stability emotionally, grounding, and can offer both honesty and different perspectives.

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One man who prefers to date older women describes some of the experiences he had during his “young woman trial period” as including “trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club.” His even more severe problems about seeing youthful girls provided getting to offer with premature brain and conduct video games.

Why Do Young Men Like Older Women

How Old Is Too Aged?

Research by Gloria Cowan (1984) found that relationships in which the woman was older were perceived as less likely to be successful as compared with relationships without an age gap.[ii] Cowan examined the perception of age-discrepant relationships as evaluated by both adult and adolescent samples, both of which rated relationships where women were much older (18-year difference) as least likely to be successful.

When the age gap was less severe, however, so had been the judgment. Cowan found that both adult and adolescent males, in contrast to females, did not hold a double standard when judging couples with only a 7-year age difference.

When Older Women Develop Too Quickly, That is What Happens

Where is the sweet spot? The guy in the Nowadays.com piece who experimented with the “young woman trial period” explained that dating a woman only 5 years older than himself was insufficient to create the “emotional maturity and depth” he has been searching for. He preferred women who were a full decade older, explaining they were more self-assured and well rounded, sharing that “Younger women just don't allow me to grow in the ways older women do.”

“Chasing the Cougar”

Having established that many men prefer older women, how do these relationships develop? Resisting the “cougar” stereotype of older women wearing leopard print, drinking martinis, and ogling younger men, many women share their real stories of how younger men focused on and pursued them.

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Researcher Milaine Alarie, in a piece entitled “They're the Ones Chasing the Cougar” (2019) found that contrary to stereotype, very few women considered themselves “seductresses,” seeking youthful men who have been “passively holding out to be courted.”[iii]

Using data from 55 interviews with women from 30 to 60 years old who date younger men, she found that women were more likely to have played a passive role in forming the relationship when they were over 40 than in their 30s. Alaire suggests that within the context of women-older dating, the ability or desire to “renegotiate the gendered script” that applies to forming relationships is tempered by cultural beliefs.

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True Love Is Timeless

Brian Collisson and Luciana Ponce De Leon (2018), exploring sources of prejudice towards age-gap relationships, recognize that evolutionary idea retains that more youthful women should choose somewhat older men and vice versa, in purchase to maximize reproductive attainment and health of information.[iv] They note that atypical relationships of larger age gaps, particularly when the person is without a doubt older, are perce4ed to violate these established mate preferences.

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But in reality, it appears that some men choose to date older women partially because there is more of a sense of relational equality. Such pairings are more common than most people believe, and more successful as well.

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[i]https://www.today.com/health/men-confess-22-reasons-why-younger-guys-fa….

[ii]Cowan, Gloria. "The Double Standard in Age-discrepant Relationships." Sex Roles 11.1 (1984): 17-23.

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[iii]Milaine, Alaire. "“They’re the Ones Chasing the Cougar”: Relationship Formation in the Context of Age-Hypogamous Intimate Romances." Gender & Society 33, no. 3 (2019): 463-85.

Why Do Older Women Hate Sex

[iv]Collisson, Brian. & De Leon, Luciana Ponce. Curr Psychol (2018), https://doi-org.libproxy.sdsu.edu/10.1007/s12144-018-9895-6.

Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., is a career trial attorney, behavioral analyst, author of Red Flags, and co-author of Reading People.